On Paid Copy Tests

I’ve heard a lot of demand for copy tests to be paid assignments.

Now, I completely understand the sentiment. 

No one wants to develop 6 scripts, 4 influencer ideas, 3 billboard headlines and 10 social media posts for free. Especially in 2 days.

But hey, let’s do a thought experiment and peek into the crystal ball of a dystopian future…

What if agencies actually started paying for copy tests?

Suddenly, tests become as rare as original ideas. Agencies, forced to put their money where their mouths are, get stingier than a client's budget. Less junior writers get hired. Happy?

We’re just getting started. The paid copy test becomes another avenue of income for freelance writers who have no intention of joining a company.

Suddenly, there's a plague of new LinkedIn headlines: "Copy Test Specialist" is the new "Copy Ninja." Writers hire ghostwriters to take the tests, for a cut of the loot. Who's writing for whom? Who the heck knows? Agencies end up saying things like, "Can you refer us to your ghostwriter? They seem like a good fit."

Copy bootcamps start selling workshops on how to ace copy tests. Hello "Advanced Copy Test Hacks" and "Gaming the System: A Masterclass." We stop seeing all those cute spec ads from Hinglish on LinkedIn. There's no money in that.

You'll have grizzled creatives, now put out to pasture, selling to the highest bidder. They'll be crafting bespoke responses tailored to each agency's particular brand of bullshit. "Want to sound like Zomato? That'll be ₹20000 and a dinner date."

Agencies spiral into paranoia (as if good old neurosis wasn't enough). We develop new AI systems to find out if the candidate is actually the test taker. Sam Altman gets even richer. Plot twist: the AI starts taking the copy tests itself. 

Experts are hired to conduct linguistic polygraphs. "I want the truth, god damn it!" Who's paying for this? I am. Out of my salary. Thanks, I hate it.

Some whizkid from Bangalore sees the opportunity to create a standardised copy test that scores creativity out of 2400, like the SATs. Just picture it. Upgrad selling a course called, “Ace Your AdSAT: Guaranteed 2300+ in 12 easy modules.”

And then the clients. They'll catch wind of this circus and start demanding AdSAT scores along with team structures in the proposal. “If it works for hiring, why not for campaigns?” 

In a Black Mirror twist, the entire advertising industry implodes when it's revealed that all those copy tests were actually being used to train an AI copywriter. Its first headline? “Thing good. Buy thing. You like.” Perfection. 

Before you know it, all creative people are doing any more is taking copy tests. Writing copy is just not profitable anymore. If it ever was. 

Welcome to the brave new world. Hope you like copy tests. 

(Note: Before you fetch the pitchforks— I believe in the copy test for junior roles. The only way to gauge thinking without a portfolio. I’m ready to die on this hill. I do believe that tests should be much, much shorter, and much more fun.)